So You Want To Be A Homosexual
by DemonCatBeastie
Summary: 'CCoC Challenge: Write a fic where Iori is the only straight digidestined.' Well, that's my explanation for this abomination...


"So You Want To Be a Homosexual"  
  
Author: DemonCatBeastie  
  
Disclaimer: Yes, I'm mimicking a book title, no I don't feel like telling you, yes this was a challenge (who in their right mind would do this for any other reason?), no I don't own digimon, yes I am poor, no, suing is not welcome, yes response is appreciated. There. Glad we got that over with.  
  
Iori walked into the computer lab at the school only to find himself whirling around and walking back out again at the sight within, eyes wide, pallor suddenly shades lighter.  
"Oh my..." He turned around and looked in, slower this time, to see if his eyes had been lying to him.  
They weren't. Ken and Daisuke were making out in the most obscene manner; Daisuke's jacket had been unceremoniously dropped to the floor, and Ken's hand had found it's way up the young brunette's shirt. Daisuke obviously didn't mind, and was definitely encouraging with long, heavy kisses and fast fingers working to undo Ken's shirt. They had been completely oblivious to Iori's entry.  
The young Iori stood outside the door to the PC lab, confused and alarmed. Since when has this been going on? he wondered, And why did no one mention it to him?  
As he tried to sort things out internally, Takeru and the visitor from America, Wallace, were walking towards the lab.   
"No way, Ken suggested /that/?" Wallace cried, laughing. "Who would have thought Mr. Straightlaced and Logical would come up with such an idea..."  
"I know! I nearly went into shock!" Takeru returned, grinning with boyish charm. "Oh, Iori! What's up?"  
"Uhm, nothing," Iori haltingly responded.  
"What're you waiting outside for? Door locked?" Takeru asked. "Here, let me see..."  
"Ah, no, wait, you don't wanna go in there!" Iori started, but it was too late. Takeru swung the door open and waltzed right in. Iori shrank back from the door way, standing across the hall to watch from a safer distance.  
"Ken! Daisuke!" Takeru cried.   
The two culprits looked up in alarm, then tried to hide the sheepish grins growing on their faces.  
"Uhm... Oops?" Daisuke said quietly.  
"Oops is right, how many times have we told you that the Lab is no place for that!" Takeru chided.  
"Yeah, find an empty stall in the bathroom like we do," Wallace chimed. Takeru blushed and shot Wallace a dirty look.  
"'Like we do?'" Iori murmured, now completely confused.  
"Iori! Are you coming?" Wallace called.  
"Erm, no, I just remembered I have something to do," Iori responded quickly, then ran out of the building.  
"What's with him?" asked Ken, puzzled.  
***  
Iori ran to the first logical person he could think of: Miyako. Surely, the usually well grounded, well adjusted teen could explain to him just what the hell was going on!  
Miyako had headed home early to help take care of the store. He jogged up to the building, then slowed as he entered.  
Miyako's mother stood behind the counter. "May I help you? Oh! Iori! How are you? Miyako's upstairs if you'd like to speak with her." The woman smiled warmly at him, but Iori had bowed, thanked her, and ran for the stairs before she knew what had happened.  
"Goodness, someone's in a rush! Kids these days..." She smiled to herself, shaking her head.  
"Miyako! Something weird is going on!" Iori yelled through the closed bedroom door. "Ken and Daisuke were making out in the lab and Takeru and Wallace told them to do that in the bathroom-"  
Miyako opened the door a crack and looked out. "Oh, Iori, hang on, just a moment-"  
Iori hadn't paused before pushing his way into the room, only to find himself freeze in shock.  
Hikari sat upright on Miyako's bed, sheet wrapped around her, cheeks the color of a beautiful sunset on a summer's day. That color you see right before a storm.   
Whirling, Iori saw Miyako standing next to the door, a yukata robe barely tied on properly, leaving most everything but the essentials exposed.  
"Mi- Miyako..." Started Iori. "W-what's going on?"  
"You mean you didn't know?" She asked, puzzled. "Iori, when was the last time you checked your Wahoo e-mail? We all sent you a message explaining what was going on..."  
"Miyako, my Wahoo mail expired three months ago, you know that! Wait, you mean..."  
Miyako nodded. "We sent that e-mail FIVE months ago."  
Iori sat down, hard. "So you, Hikari, Takeru, Wallace, Daisuke, and Ken are all...?"  
"And Mimi and Sora, Jyou and Koushiro, and Yamato and Taichi."  
Iori looked at her, stunned, then fell backward.  
Hikari stood in concern, barely able to hold the sheet on in her rush. "Iori? Iori, are you all right?"  
"I... Think he passed out..." Miyako muttered. "Maybe we should've explained it in person?..."  
"Do you suppose he'll be all right?" Hikari asked. "I mean... he's not moving..."  
"He'll be fine!! Just help me get him on the bed."  
***  
Two weeks later, after Iori had come out of his coma, it was obvious he was having difficulties accepting this latest piece of information.  
"I wanna be gay, too!"  
"Iori, you can't just decide to be gay," Jyou calmly explained. Ten minutes earlier, Koushiro had been trying to help explain this to Iori, but considering he and Jyou couldn't keep their hands off each other Jyou had dismissed him, being older and wiser and more knowledgeable about human behavior than his introverted lover. "Listen to me: Being gay is more than just an attitude. Hrm... No, that's not right... Being gay is... it's more than just saying you are, it's /being/. For example: If you go to a gay club, but you're there looking for girls... That's not gay. That's straight."  
"Well... What if I'm bisexual?"  
Jyou sighed, shaking his head. "Well then you're bisexual and not gay. Beyond that point, being gay means wanting to be with a guy-" here, he paused for a moment to look at Iori's reaction; an eyebrow twitched, and the corner of his mouth shifted, but other than that, nothing- "and you can't be gay without that element. You see?"  
"I see. I want to be with a guy."  
"Are you serious about that?"  
"Yes."  
Jyou sat back. "You do understand that most people aren't even capable of making that decision until they're in their mid to late teens at the earliest?"  
"I'm very advanced for my age."  
"Iori..." Jyou leaned forward again. "Advanced has nothing to do with it. /Personal/ interest is the key. Just because the rest of us are gay doesn't mean you have to be, too."  
"..."  
"Look, I think you need to think it over carefully before choosing what you are." Jyou chuckled. "From what I've seen of you, you don't really want anything to do with either gender as far as relationships are concerned!"  
Iori glared at Jyou, and Jyou's expression wavered. He tousled Iori's hair and said, "Just give yourself time. You shouldn't rush into things head on."  
***  
  
*Fifteen years later*  
Iori grasped his lover's hand has he rang the doorbell of the Digidestined reunion party. The door swung open to reveal Yamato's unchanged sense of dress and hair style beaming at them.  
"Iori! You're here! And who's this?" He asked, giving the young man beside Iori the once over.  
Iori blushed. "This is Koichi, my boyfriend."  
Koichi squeezed Iori's hand. "You're so cute when you introduce me to people!"  
Yamato laughed. "That's our little Iori, who is apparently not quite so little anymore!" He was referring to the fact that Iori was now about level with him, but Iori's face reddened further at the remark.  
"Well, come on in, Sora's entertaining the guests! I still can't believe you went abroad to study..."  
Iori's mind jarred slightly. Sora was entertaining the guests? What happened to Taichi?  
Upon entering the main room, it all be came utterly and near-painfully clear what was happening- During his long time abroad, everyone else had decided straight was the way to go. Hikari was hanging off of Takeru. Mimi had Wallace wrapped around her finger. It was obvious that Sora and Yamato were together. Jyou and Koushiro shot each other glances across the room, leading Iori to believe it was a nasty break up and were now dating females out of spite. Taichi had a strange blonde sitting quietly next to him, much to his obvious delight. Ken and Daisuke were nowhere to be seen, so maybe there was still a hope.  
Iori sat down hard on the floor. "I give up," he muttered. "All the old issues have come flying back to me."  
"Issues?" Koichi asked, confused. "Iori, what's going on?"  
Yamato rested a hand on Koichi's shoulder. "Seeing as he's about to go comatose again, we'll explain it to you... It's going to be a long story..."  
  
*The Bizarre End* 


End file.
